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Saturday, April 02, 2005

The hot list

Since bloggers are apparently the first people to know everything I'm going to share the new hot things in Spring 2005 (and beyond)
Food: Tea tablets. I read an article about it on yahoo that they made these tablets in I believe Russia that tasted like a cup of tea. They only had regular tea right now , but were working on a bunch of flavors. I love tea, but this is stupid, 50% of drinking any hot beverage is the experience of sitting there with a mug in your hand sipping said drink. Why don't they make something useful like vegatable tablets so you could eat a whole days worth of veggies in one swallow.
TV: The 80s' are official back! Current Affair is back on tv on UPN. I remember the typewriter sound effects and music from the show, but what I didn't remember was that each show is about a murder or rape case. I thought it was a show like Entertainment Tonight, only with less rhyming .
Movies: The movie Ray has been released on a special DVD for the blind. This is not the first movie for the blind to be made, but you can understand why they choose it. Apparently, in between the dialog there is a narrotor that explains the characters expression, the scenary etc.
An imagined example: Ray Charles is sitting at the piano and has just stopped playing. He is smiling, but looks all coked out and is mumbling to himself. One producer raises his eyebrow at the other as they exchange glances. The first producer walks away as the other looks contemplative and worried.
I don't understand how a person blind from birth would be able to picture these things in their mind. Plus I think the narrator would get annoying, but maybe that's just me with my 20/20 vision.
Dance: One of my more crazier clients informed me the hot new dance is to go toe-heel-toe while alterating feet at a rapid pace.
Fashion: He also told me that by 2010 rosaries will be the hot new fashion. Maybe they'll be a whole clerical fashion trend with cassocks and habits. I can just see it on the red carpet...
"Halle, who are you wearing?" "
Jesus."
"You look amazing, you're totally rocking the sorrowful mysteries!"
Theater: There's apparently a new Broadway play called "Spelling Bee". Now I was a big fan of the documentary Spellbound, but this seems like the stupidest idea for a musical ever. Literally the songs are to the effect of:
"Spell the word territorial"
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"A dog pees on trees because they are territorial"
I hope the Pictionary musical comes out soon...
"A ball with a cross on it can only mean one thing..."
Music: A man that was given inspiration from the nature sounds CDs is releasing a recording of "Sounds from Crawford, Texas". Included is the sound of catfish frying and fans cheering on the local highschool football team. Some of the missing tracks include: the sound of G. W. Bush doing a line of coke off of Laura's ass, a remix of G.W. Bush using the word "faggot" over 50 times and a bunch of soundclips from Fox News.
I smell a graduation present for a certain someone.
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At work the overnight staff is responsible for keeping a night log to record in every hour. Mostly it's "all is quiet". So my co-worker did not realize that the clocks have moved forward so when I told her she wrote: "7:00am-time has moved forward. "

1 Comments:

  • apparently the new current affair is supposed to be more news-ish and less ET (entertainment tonight not the extra terrestrial) so as to form their own niche in the trashy news world.

    and please, ray charles was on heroin, not coke. horse is a totally different beast - literally.

    By Blogger BVS, at 5:01 PM  

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