Thursday, May 26, 2005

3 random thoughts

*I registered from grad classes today and I signed myself up for two Saturday classes. One being research, I'm going to have no life. But my advisor is a total diva-there's no other word to describe her. She's this sassy black woman in her 40s?, she's the Star Jones of higher learning. *Speaking of sassy black women...while on a walk in the park with Lola I saw, hanging half in and half out the garbage can, a weave! *This is why America is falling apart because 5 times!!!!! the amount of people voted for the new American Idol then who voted for the president (or at least what was reported and "counted").

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Africans say the darndest thing...

Two of our clients are brothers from Nigeria, who have only been in American for a year or so. At snack the other night we had cheese crackers that were "reduced fat" and the youngest thought that meant that by eating the crackers he would lose weight, instead of it being a healthier version of a junk food.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Better then the GED?

One of my clients got a thing in the mail from a place we'll call "Bontinental Bacademy" which offers high school drop-outs to get their diploma instead of their GED. Very sketchy. The program consists of said high school drop-out paying $400 in easy $40 a month payments and you take one test that you can take as long as you like to finish this test and you can re-take sections as many times as you need for no additional charge. And after you pass and pay the charge you get your diploma, including a wallet sized copy, which might just be completly useless. But the funniest thing is you can buy a "Bontinental Bacademy" graduation ring to "capture your memories, school spirit and achievement". Exactly, what memories are you trying to forever remember? This reminds me of when I got knocked up in 9th grade and had to drop out. This reminds me of that time I completed the math session of my test while watching Wheel of Fortune. Take it from someone who went to a real high school and has actually memories, you'll never wear the darn thing anyway.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Holy Shit!

So this morning per usual I was eating my cereal and watching tv and a commercial for Oprah came on. It was a black screeen and Oprah's voice says "I have a deep, dark, secret" and the words "deep, dark secret" appeared in white on the screen. Then it goes to Oprah standing on the stage and says....
Jigga what??!!!???
Can it be true that Oprah has birthed a child and hid her from the public? Not since the press hid FDR being a cripple has any cover up been so scandalous. Or maybe Stedman has a child from another relationship (but how does a gay man get pregnant?). Or can it be that Oprah gave a baby up for adoption? Or do they mean child in the spiritual/emotional sense-like there's a neighborhood kid they're fond of? And doesn't this explain Oprah's flutuating weight gain/loss (but not her horrible hair in the 80s).

I'm so horribly sad I have to work tomorrow, but I'm making my mom watch it. I suggest everyone tune in for this earth shattering news.